Start Your Divorce Today - Premium Divorce Online

Topic Options
#935 - 07/22/04 03:08 AM lost job so he changed child support...legal?
babysunbird Offline
recently joined

Registered: 07/22/04
Posts: 6
My ex was paying $150 a week for our 2 children. We have been divorced for 4 years. He has very rarely ever actually kept up with the child support until recently. Then he calls me and said that he lost his job (his fault) and couldn't send all the money. I told him that he could just start paying again when he got another job. So, about 3 weeks later he called and said that he got another job but, wasn't make as much money. He said that he and his girlfriend decided that he could only send $400 a month. And that he wasn't going to send weekly checks anymore but, monthly instead. I pulled our Divorce Decree and it states that he is supposed to pay $645 monthly. This was 4 years ago. Also, at that time we lived w/in 2 miles of each other and he got the kids every other weekend. Now that I live in MD and he lives in TX he gets them in the summer only. (I take them there or at least half way. He has NEVER made the arrangements or paid any of the traveling expenses) And when he has them he doesn't pay anything. I've been told that he should still be paying CS even when the children are visiting. Is this true?
What can I do in regards to getting the full amount of support? I even told him that if he really doesn't make enough to go and get the amount reduced. This was back in March and he still hasn't done it. So, that tells me he's not hurting too bad for money and yet he still doesn't pay all of the support. Also, I might add that my income has dropped drastically since then but, I never went to try to get more. Any advice??

Top
#936 - 07/23/04 01:27 AM Re: lost job so he changed child support...legal? [Re: babysunbird]
GraceAdler Offline
recently joined

Registered: 07/11/04
Posts: 18
He doesn't have to pay you weekly because the divorce says monthly but he still has to pay the amount the divorce states regardless. If he stops paying you the amount he is supposed to, then take him to court for contempt. Until a court order says otherwise, then he is responsible for it.

Unless the order says he isn't supposed to pay when the children are visiting him, he's still supposed to pay it and if he doesn't, he is in contempt.

Top
#937 - 07/23/04 01:33 AM Re: lost job so he changed child support...legal? [Re: GraceAdler]
babysunbird Offline
recently joined

Registered: 07/22/04
Posts: 6
Thank you for your reply. That is exactly what I thought. I do not have a problem with him changing the support from weekly to monthly. It's just the amount that wasn't right. Thanks so much.

Top
#938 - 07/23/04 01:37 AM Re: lost job so he changed child support...legal? [Re: GraceAdler]
babysunbird Offline
recently joined

Registered: 07/22/04
Posts: 6
Also... another question. Do I actually have to go to court and spend tons of money? Or can I just contact CSE?

Top
#939 - 07/23/04 03:12 PM Re: lost job so he changed child support...legal? [Re: babysunbird]
sarah Offline
journeyman

Registered: 07/22/04
Posts: 63
In my experience, Child Support Enforcement will not do anything to a non-custodial parent not keeping up with their child support until they are behind the entire month's amount of child support within a 30 day period. Then, if there is still no money within 14 days, they send a warning letter. If, after 14 more days, they have not responded, CSE will send another letter letting them know that their driver's license will be suspended.....it goes on and on and on. In our situation, (my husband has custody of his two children ages 5&7) we had to actually hire an attorney to take her to court for civil contempt. We were lucky in the respect that the kids' mother was found in civil contempt and a lien was put on her for the full amount of back child support (around $10,000). BUT, we will never see the money unless she buys and sells a home or car. In my estimation, CSE is meant to scare people into paying their child support...they don't really have the resources to take care of your individual case as quickly as you want them to or as efficiently as an attorney would. The problem with all of this is that we now have a steep bill from the attorney to handle this....and she's STILL not paying the child support! It never ends.....!!

Top
#940 - 07/23/04 03:23 PM Re: lost job so he changed child support...legal? [Re: sarah]
sarah Offline
journeyman

Registered: 07/22/04
Posts: 63
BTW NC mother was ordered to pay $660 a month. We requested assistance from CSE in early September 2003 and she had made 4 payments TOTALING $310 when we went to court on May 24, 2004 WITH OUR ATTORNEY. They did nothing to help, whatsoever.

Top
#941 - 07/23/04 07:57 PM Re: lost job so he changed child support...legal? [Re: babysunbird]
Gecko Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 20602
Loc: Third rock from the sun
Since you agreed to let him slide on paying you because he lost his job and you agreed to take a lesser amount, then I think it's wrong of you to go after arrearages because he hasn't had the order modified.

And the fact that he hasn't gotten the modification done does NOT mean that he's socking away money...it be that being a typical male, he has forgotten or maybe he thinks he needs an attorney and he can't afford one.

Maybe a gentle reminder to him that this needs to be taken care of because it's only going to bite him in the ass if he doesn't. Also let him know that he doesn't need an attorney, he can file a Stipulated (consent) Motion with the courts.
_________________________
If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!

Top
#942 - 07/24/04 05:57 PM Re: lost job so he changed child support...legal? [Re: Gecko]
babysunbird Offline
recently joined

Registered: 07/22/04
Posts: 6
Okay, I'm sorry but, you must have misunderstood my posting. I NEVER agreed to a lesser amount. The only thing I did was tell him that he could start paying again once he had a job. And it was discussed at that time that once he got a job he would pay the weeks/months that he missed. I never once said it was okay for him to pay a lesser amount. I told him that if he did want to he could go get it changed if it was true that he had no money. He and his girlfriend decided that he couldn't pay the full amount and THEY came up w/the amount that he's paying. AND he hasn't paid ANYTHING in the past two months. So, I think that constitutes me trying to get what he owes. It is not my responsibility to give him all the details on how to go about getting it reduced. He is a grown man and is very capable of finding this info out for himself. So, I do NOT feel obligated in any way to lead him in the right direction. As a matter of fact I think that just the fact that I did give him ample time to get it reduced (or at least start the process) is very kind on my part. And this isn't the first time that he hasn't paid.
As far as him "forgetting"... 1st off: I would think that if he is as bad off money wise as he says it would be a priority to lessen any debts that he may have. 2nd: I did give him constant reminders and even warned him of the consequences that would occur to him if he didn't get this straightened out such as a suspended license, considering he is a truck driver and if they suspended his license he would have no job at all.. you'd think he'd make it a priority to avoid this at all costs. And no he wouldn't just lose his job and be okay with it because he and his girlfriend have a child that needs support also.
Hopefully I cleared things up a little so, that it doesn't seem like I'm just going after him for the heck of it. I've been dealing w/this for 4 years now and I'm just tired of him not keeping up w/his responsibilities.
Also, just to let you know how much I do go out of my way regarding him... He has never ONCE attempted to make any arrangements to get our girls for the summer or any other time. I'm always the one that makes the arrangements and does the traveling so, that they can go see their father. And it's not just across the state, I live in MD and he's in TX. And b4 that I was in Hawaii and he was in TN. Those are not cheap/quick trips. Don't get me wrong though.. I don't do it for him, I do it for them. But, at the same time... he's had it pretty easy for the last 4 years. Also, did I mention that he is supposed to pay 50% of all medical and dental bills? Well, he has NEVER paid a penny. Our oldest daughter has severe asthma and has been in and out of hospitals for the majority of her life. And trust me.. ER visits aren't cheap. But, I've never pushed the issue.. I shouldn't have to. He is not my child and I shouldn't have to give him directions on every single step.

Forgive me if I sound a little irritated, I am. However, I don't mean to take it out on you or anyone in the forum.

Top

Moderator:  dsAdmin 


Resources & Tools
Start Your Divorce Online Start Your Divorce
Several Options to Get Started Today.
Divorce Tools Online Divorce Tools
Keeping it Simple to Get the Job Done.
Divorce Downloads Download Center
Instantly Download Books, Guides & Forms.
Divorce and Custody Books Discount Books
Over 100 of the Best Divorce & Custody Books.
Negotiate Online Negotiate Online
Settle your Divorce and Save.
Custody and Support Tracking Custody Scheduling
Make Sure You Document Everything.

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Enter Your Zip Code: