The return of an adult child to the empty nest can test the patience of everyone involved. What starts out as a temporary arrangement ("a place to find old issues resurfacing. The situation percolates and soon recriminations bubble to the top.

Moreover, grandparents, who imagined themselves on the cusp of the golden years of duty as surrogate parents when, for example, an adult daughter finds herself unexpectedly returning to the workforce in the aftermath of a divorce and now in need of a baby-sitter. Many grandmothers have found themselves in the role of second mother’s to their grown children’s children. While this routine may brings joys, it also can disrupt the routines of older parents who imagined their days of child care behind them.

In intact families, grandparents get the best of two worlds: the joys of the children without the responsibilities for their upbringing. In families fractured by divorce, grandchildren can become weapons in proxy battled against alienated spouses. When a marriages crashes on the rocks, the once-favored daughter-in-law or son-in-law may drift away, or worse, become an enemy if the family takes sides.

The return of the adult child who needs a place to live and grandparents as surrogate parents can force postponement of long-term plans, for example, the sale of the house or travel. At times, postdivorce financial find themselves with unexpected financial burdens.

By the same token, the relocation of a visitation rights with their own grandchildren. These battles poison the well from which a family, intact or broken, must drink.

See also Visitation, Grandparents’.